Friday weigh in

So today is Friday which means my weigh in. This week I lost a total of 2 pounds so that makes my overall weight loss 15 pounds!! I am very happy with myself as my goal is to lose one pound a week 2 just makes it all better. Hopefully I can continue my weight loss with similar results as I have been having. Even though I am sure that I will hit a plateau at some point I will enjoy the progress that I have achieved so far.

My Inspiration for today

How it all began

I have gotten the question asking how I decided to start this journey, so I decided that I would answer it. It literally happened one day out of the blue. I mean not like completely out of the blue but you know what I mean. I have been overweight for most of my life but it didn't get really bad until about seventh grade. I would eat a lot and since I no longer had recess my active life was slowly passing through my fingers to the point where I didn't do any physical activity at all. Obviously the pounds started to add up but I did not really care much to be honest. In eight grade the weight just kept piling on. This was the year where I had a crush on a friend and I realized that he would never like me because I was not skinny. Now that I am older I realize how dumb that was but it did motivate me to lose weight. So the summer between 8th and 9th grade I lost about 40 pounds. I was extremely happy. guys were giving me the attention I wanted. I wasn't super skinny but I was a medium in shirts and a 9 in pants. I have big hips so that was amazing! The problem was that when I did lose the weight I did it a very unhealthy way basically starving myself and eating tuna... lots and lots of tuna. So much that I have not had it since then. I also stopped drinking soda. This I held on to and I don't drink it to this day. Since I didn't lose the weight by changing my lifestyle the pounds came back because I wasn't on the strict diet anymore. So by 12th grade I was bigger than I had ever was before but I didn't care. Then around came college and I gained so much weight. My college has a buffet so I had Pizza all day every day! Obviously that was not healthy. My friends would try to drag me to the gym but I never wanted to go. I seriously hate working out. Like with a passion. I think I went once or twice but that was it. Sophomore year of college comes around and I am in a really happy relationship with my current boyfriend. Both of us love food so we ate out a lot. I don't mean like once or twice every two weeks. I mean twice a day every day of the week. I still can't believe we did that. At the time, which was like four month ago, I really didn't care. My thought was "I'm not trying to impress anybody" I thought it was okay not to take care of myself because I already had a boyfriend. I still cannot believe I thought that was okay. . I watch a lot of videos on YouTube about fashion and make up and I would always find myself thinking how I could never pull any of those looks. This made me sad because I absolutely love clothes. Things changed one day in December. I found myself complaining about being overweight and I thought Why don't I just do something about it? That's when it clicked. I don't want to be overweight for the rest of my life. I want to be able to wear the clothes I want and feel confident in them. So that morning I went online and read about how to get started. The biggest thing I saw was that I needed to count calories. So I downloaded MyFitnessPal and I logged everything I ate. I also got out of bed and began working out that very day. Now here I am today a little over a month into my journey and the small changes I have made have made a difference. 13 pounds down and many to go but this time I am not giving up.

Strange dream

I dreamed I was pregnant with Carlos’s baby. Carlos is of course my boyfriend in real life. My dad at first was mad but then after a while he wasn't. My mom was happy. I was the age that I am at now. I kept putting my hand on my stomach because the feeling of being pregnant was beautiful. Then came time where I was going to go into labor and my mom kept asking me all these questions like if I could feel the baby move and if I had the contractions. At that time I didn't but I knew that it was almost time for me to give birth. We were in a hospital and some people from my high school were there one of them congratulated me. The others just stared I honestly did not even care. I was extremely happy. My hands would not move away from my stomach. Carlos and I sat with our backs to the window and I told him to feel my stomach but he couldn't feel anything so I moved a bit and then the baby’s head was in that area so he felt it. My dad felt the baby too and he said “eres una Buena mama” which translates to “You are a great mother.” I found it weird that he said that because the baby hadn't been born yet. Everyone that was around me was filled with joy my mom, my dad, and Carlos. Then we all saw the baby’s feet pushing up against my stomach and I kept touching that area to feel my baby and one moment I saw what the baby was going to look like and she was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. Unfortunately I woke up because the alarm turned on I woke up sad…. Like really sad because in reality I was not pregnant. I am actually sad right now even though I woke up a couple hours ago.  The dream is fresh in my mind. Not that I want to be pregnant right now or maybe I do I don’t know I mean obviously I can’t because I am in college but that dream just left me wanting a baby for some reason. The feeling was just amazing to be honest. I looked up what it meant and it said that I have a new idea that is growing and that I will soon begin to make reality. There is actually something that I am going to get started on soon so we shall see.

Yay!

I have decided to weigh myself every Friday. This way I can see the progress and look back on the week and see what I need to work on. Today when I stepped on the scale I saw that I lost another three pounds!! That makes my total weight loss so far 13 pounds. I am very proud of myself! My next goal is to lose 5 pounds in the next month. Hopefully I can achieve it!

Banana Oat Pancakes

So I love pancakes and I wanted to find a healthier recipe that I could make to satisfy my craving and be delicious at the same time. And I believe I have found it! They were delicious. If I may say so myself.

Here is the recipe it makes about 7 small pancakes.

2 Large eggs

3/4 cups of oats

1 banana 

Tablespoon of milk

Teaspoon of sugar

Directions: Blend it all together in the blender until it looks like it has all blended well together. 

Heat up your pan and add butter so the mix doesn't stick then you take the mix and make small sized circle with the mix. The way you know that it is ready is when there are bubbles on the top just like regular pancakes then you flip it. Just make sure it does not burn so check it every couple of seconds. Repeat this for every pancake and then you are done! Enjoy! 

You can also add some fresh fruit to the mix like blueberries and strawberries!

Job searching will be the death of me!

Why oh why is finding a job so difficult?? I have applied to over 15 jobs and nobody I mean nobody has called me. This makes me sad. I need a job but apparently so do a ton of other people and they are all more qualified than me. Why can't I just like win the lottery and become rich and never have to worry about money ever again! Yeah right.. in my dreams. But seriously I didn't think that it would be this difficult! It doesn't help that I live in a college town where obviously a ton of college students want to get jobs as well. Oh well I guess I'll just keep applying, and applying. Until I am swimming in a pool of debt because no one will hire me. Ahh why cant this just be easy. (insert a picture of me crying here)

VICTORY!!

So today I stepped on the scale and to be honest before I did I was scared that I wasn't going to see the results that I wanted to especially after the meltdown I had yesterday. I hesitated to step on the scale and I am ten pounds down!!!! 10 pounds down from where I started and I am so happy. My hard work paid off. I did it I did it. My first goal has been done! I now have the confidence that I can do this! It may take a while but I am capable of doing this.

The Mistake

Its official I bought my scale. I’m beginning to think that it was a terrible idea. I’m sitting in my room and all I can think about is the disappointment that I will have when I step on the scale tomorrow morning. Even though I have felt a difference in my body and even though I see the change in how my clothes fit I am still terrified. What if the scale shows no difference? What if all my hard work was for nothing? So because I was stressed about it so much I did a terrible thing I bought some chips and cheese and I ate. I ate a lot! And now I’m here feeling mad about myself for doing that. I really feel that because I did what I did I just gained like 20 pounds. I feel horrible. Why oh! Why does bad food have to taste so good? I seriously cannot believe I did that. What was I thinking? Oh right I wasn’t thinking at all. I was so excited because I had put in all this hard work and I knew that I had achieved something. But I feel like I just threw it all away. I guess I’ll see tomorrow. My goal is to have at least lost 5 pounds. That was my goal from the start. 5 pounds a month. I’m terrified. I wish there was a way to turn back the clock and not do what I did. Maybe I shouldn't dwell on it too much. Tomorrow is a new day. I can’t change today but I can definitely do something different tomorrow. Which I will. Tonight I will try to go to bed without thinking too much about this and I will see what the results are in the morning. Fingers crossed!

Inspiration

The days that I feel down or I need a little push to get me going I go online and read blogs that are written by people that are on their journey to lose weight or that they have accomplished their goal (Kudos to them!). This really helps me get that inspiration that I need to keep going. I know that I have not been doing this for a long time. It’s been a month. But that being said I know that there are struggles, I know that there are days where you want to throw in the towel but instead of thinking about how much you have left to get where you want to be, think about the little accomplishments that you have made think about the time where you said no to the slice of cake. Think about the day you picked water instead of the soda. These little things are what you should be proud about because even those choices are hard. But you did it. When you decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator today, you did it! Don’t get stuck on the number that is on the scale because sometimes even though you worked so hard that week the scale won’t show it. Its not because you didn’t try hard enough, its just that what you are losing is fat and the scale does not always account for that you may have gained muscle. Who knows? Just don’t stress about the number. You can do this. Read the stories about people that started where you started and realize that if they did it you can do it too. The road won’t be easy but the results will be. Keep pushing forward. I believe in you. You will achieve your goal. You can do this and so can I! Were in this together and we are in it for the long run.

Day 25

Ive been AWOL but I have not given up yet. Trust me there are times I still want to but what I did was I ordered and outfit that was the size that I want to achieve this way I have the motivation  to want to wear it. It has worked out well so far. My thought to do this was because well I love fashion like I absolutely love it. I keep up with the trends and I know what is "in" as they say. One of the reasons that I also want to lose weight is because I really cannot wear some of the stuff that I want to because as of now it wouldn't look good. And why would I want to wear something that I would not feel confident in? Exactly. Thinking ahead and seeing myself in the clothes that will be in when I do achieve my goal makes me want to do it even more!  I remember it and I skip dessert or I drink water instead of lemonade. Little things like that. I cant believe that I am already at day 25 I never thought that I would get here I figured that I would give up sooner than now but I haven't. The feeling of loose fitting jeans makes it all better. I can't dare to weigh myself I want to but I am honestly scared that I will not see the results that I hope to. I'm scared that the results will show the opposite of all the hard work that I have been doing. So I am putting that off until it is officially a month since I started this journey. Which is this coming Thursday YIKES!! I'm pretty nervous about the results. I'm trying not to think about it as much. the fact that I started a new semester helps a lot because I keep my mind preoccupied with other things. 5 more days until its been one month. I can do this!

Day 13

FIRST OF ALL HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I hope everyone enjoyed the holidays and is ready for 2014! The fireworks they had downtown were amazing and it was the first year I had my new years kiss which I was very excited about. I didn't blog yesterday as it was new years eve obviously and my boyfriend and I had to go to both our parents house to celebrate so I was busy. Both families made a ton of food so there was plenty to eat. Thag being said there were not many areas where there was a way to make healthy choices. But I did go over my calories a bit. I try not to beat myself up about it because it is the holidays so I cannot be to hard on myself. As the days have gone by it has become easier to remember to keep track of my calories and it actually helps a lot. Its only been about two weeks but I can already feel the difference. Im not going to lie it is still hard to make choices that are good for me. Theres time where I want that bag of chips, theres times where I want that cake but then I think about where i will be in a year and I also think about how I really dont need that cake or that bag of chips because its not doing anything good for me. The fact that I work out helps a lot too because I think about how eating the bad food kind of backfires on all the hard work I did that day. I know as time goes on it will get easier.